LessonsJuly 16, 2011
As any fan of Cougar Town knows, titles are hard. Fortunately, the Jilb and I struck gold with Reini Days, which is, without argument, the greatest title for any work of art in the history of mankind (with, perhaps, a single exception made for Paul Blart: Mall Cop).
So, we knew right away that we had hit a grand slam dunk with our title. Nevertheless, we decided to go through the motions and make a list of alternative titles because, let’s face it, we have nothing but free time on our hands.
At the top of my list were Blogtopus and Snow Goons Are Bad News. The first needs no explanation. The second, though, is worth commenting on.
It is a reference to the comic strip series Calvin and Hobbes. In one famous sequence, Calvin spends a winter’s night battling an army of mutant, killer snowmen. He fights the “snow goons” off with a garden hose, covering the front lawn in a layer of ice and waking up his parents in the process (his dad, at one point, comes running out of the house, slips on the ice, falls in a snowbank, and emerges as the most dangerous snow goon yet). Needless to say, Calvin is in big trouble the next day. When Hobbes ask him if he’s learned a lesson, Calvin replies matter-of-factly with “Snow goons are bad news.”
Clearly, he learned his lesson.
Like Calvin, I have an affinity for hyper-specific maxims. My previous blog was titled You Never Can Tell with Bees, a Winnie-the-Pooh quote that can be applied to any number of circumstances, such as trying to steal
hunny honey from a beehive while disguised as a rain cloud and wondering if the bees recognize you. And others.
(Check out my old blog, by the way, if you’re interested in reading an obscene amount of self-promotion about obscure college projects that the vast majority of the public will never see. Also, there was a lot of this.)
I think it’s my love for useless maxims that causes me to become so offended when fictional characters try to teach me conceivably applicable life-lessons. I’m looking at you Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Wait, those aren’t “fictional characters,” you say? Ha! Have you seen that show? No? Well I have. That’s right, I’ve watched that Kardashian show. And you thought all that “loads of free time” stuff earlier was just a joke. Nope. I’ve got all the time in the world.
Seriously, how did people ever raise kids before reality TV marathons?
After all, “TVs are for BBs.”