The Joker Goes to Church

August 15, 2011

Reinman and I are sitting in church with the Baby and the Joker. The Bear, even though he’s grumpy at first, is down with other kids his age playing, having a snack and learning something. The Princess, perfect as usual, is also down in her class coloring and doing all those things the preschoolers do.

We probably could put the Baby with other kids her age, but she’s just too cute to leave. Plus, even though I know she’s super tired from lack of a morning nap she still sits on my lap and rocks to the church music. Very cute.

The Joker, on the other hand, is naughty. (Or just a normal two-year-old — I know that’s what someone would say). We’ve tried leaving her in the toddler class, but last time we did that she screamed bloody murder for 10 minutes straight. Seriously. She screamed and she wouldn’t let anyone pick her up. She stood in the corner and just screamed. I couldn’t do that to her again and she was disrupting the class so we figured it would be best for everyone if she sat with us in the service. And normally, Becky-Mom is around and the Joker clings to her like no other.

Well, this morning we were on our own. No Becky-Mom as she was out of town. No biggy. Reinman brings the Bear and the Princess down to their classes, and I take the Baby and the Joker with me into the church to find a seat. We sit and relax. Immediately the Joker finds a pen. Did I mention she’s wearing a pretty white dress that I really don’t want her to get dirty because I decided 10 minutes before we left that she’ll wear that when we get professional pics done?

So I’m holding the Baby with one hand, who’s chewing on my necklace and choking me, and I’m trying to keep the pen away from the Joker. She yells, “No!” many times at me and I hate to make a scene so I give her the pen while carefully watching her.

Reinman sits down and the service starts. Since the Joker will only let me hold her (I wish this was a phase — but she seems to dislike most people), Reinman holds the Baby. The music starts and then the Joker says, “Donut?” I tell her no and that we’ll have McDonald’s after church. This is not good enough for the Joker. She starts screaming, “Donut! Donut!” I laugh a little and know this is our fault because there have been times in the past when we’ve had to take the kids out of the service and we go downstairs and we’ll have a donut. The Joker keeps yelling about having a donut so Reinman takes her out of the service, and, yes, they get a donut. I suppose we should tell her no at some point.

I sit in the service for awhile until I can tell by the way the Baby is gnawing my necklace that she’s hungry. I take her out, feed her, and then head up to the foyer to sit with the other parents and their kids. I see Reinman in the corner holding the Joker. The Joker sees me and starts screaming, “Mommy,” right away. I hand the Baby to Uncle Mike who’s sitting behind Reinman and pick up the Joker. She sure is loud.

The Baby eventually crawls to me and whines for me to pick her up. Even though I know the Joker is going to freak out when I put her down, I do it anyways. Immediately, the Joker starts screaming for me. I look at Reinman who picks her up, screaming and kicking, and takes her outside.

I hold the Baby until the end of service, then round up the Princess and the Joker, who proudly show me the pictures they colored, and we head outside. Who do I see prancing around the field of grass next to the church, but the Joker (in her nice white dress, might I add). She’s very happy. She sees me, smiles and starts running at me. Reinman looks at me and shrugs. Anything to keep this girl happy. Boy, can she be a handful.




  1. She sure looks angelic in the picture!

    • Looks can be deceiving. 😉

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